• Catching up to the Digital Age

    First of all, I’d like to take this opportunity to wish everyone a very happy Sunday. And as you can see, I’ve just learned how to use Bitmojis in WordPress via the Bitmoji Chrome Extension.

    Who doesn’t love this fun app? To be honest, I didn’t use Bitmoji much on my old phone. My Samsung was slow, glitchy, and a total pain in general. But I hate replacing my phone, so I slogged away at it – resigned to my fate.

    Then, when my phone became so slow and glitchy that it was mostly useless, I finally broke down and replaced my Samsung S5 with the new Samsung S9. Because I was one of those who didn’t write down passwords, it took me a couple days to get everything up and running again. And man, what a difference!

    Suddenly, apps like Snapchat, Bitmoji, and Spotify were a breeze. My old phone could barely function inside Snapchat. It got to the point that I abandoned the app completely. It just wasn’t worth the effort.

    Now that I have my new phone, I’ve rediscovered Spotify, started creating playlists, and connected the app to my Facebook account. I didn’t even know that I could follow what my friends are listening to. As I write this post, I’m listening to my “Easy Listening” playlist that I created yesterday. It would seem that I’ve finally caught up to the digital age.😎

    One of my favorite add ons to the Samsung S9 is the AR emoji camera feature, which allows you to create GIf/ animated versions of yourself. I’d love to share one of mine, but I haven’t figured how to use the said feature beyond messenger and social media yet.

    I would also like to mention that in reference to the book I’m working on, I’ve decided to place Becky’s story in my home province of Newfoundland. It’s time to celebrate my roots. To that end, I’ll be visiting Newfoundland this summer to take a look through Becky’s eyes.

    At present, the story opens up on George Street which is located in St.John’s, Newfoundland. It’s known for its bars and pubs. I haven’t been on George Street in several years, so I’ll need to check it out during my visit. And if you don’t know who Becky is, no worries. There’ll be lots of time to discover who she is as I continue writing her story.

    Now, because I have no intention of keeping anyone longer than necessary, I’d like to conclude by bringing your attention to an organization that’s looking for authors who would like to donate their book(s) to be distributed to women shelters in the Atlanta, Ga area. In exchange, the founder and fellow indie author will spotlight you on her blog.

    Given that my poetry book contains poems that deal with women’s issues such as domestic abuse, I jumped at the opportunity.

    When I first decided to participate in this very worthwhile cause, I didn’t know about the author spotlights. I would’ve gladly donated my book regardless. So, I eagerly sent four copies on Friday. I still need to complete the spotlight questions. And like all things, I’ll get to it soon enough.

    Here’s the link in case you’d like to find out more: The ThriveHer – From Surviving to Thriving

    Well, that’s it for this week. Until next time, be kind to yourself. You’re worth it!

    P.S. I did learn from my mistake and wrote down my passwords this time around. 😉

  • Happy Thanksgiving to My Friends in Canada!

     

    In last week’s post I shared part 1 of The Seekers. I wrote that I’d share the second and final part this week, but I forgot that it would be Thanksgiving weekend here in Canada. We celebrate a lot earlier than our American neighbors.

    As I write this post, the turkey is roasting in the oven. I’ll be serving it with the usual potatoes, veggies, gravy, and cranberry sauce. I’ve been told that I make a delicious gravy. I’ll admit that it isn’t bad. 😉

    Thanksgiving is a time to give thanks, so I’ve created a list of the top five things for which I’m grateful. I won’t include my husband, two beautiful daughters, other family members, and friends. Those are all a given.

    The Things I’m Grateful For:

    • My health. Now is good time to mention that my mammogram results came back negative, so I could live to be a hundred, after all.
    • My online community of friends. We now live in a world where we have friends that we communicate with every day, but we’ll never meet. Nonetheless, we support and cheer each other on.
    • The people who take the time out of their busy lives to read my caffeinated ramblings, such as yourself. Thank you!
    • The moments that make life beautiful. Life is the most precious gift we will ever receive.
    • The roof over my head, because not everyone has one.

    I’d also like to take this opportunity to share that I’m still working on Becky’s story. I even have an editor. That’s right, I have an editor! She’s a very talented lady, and with her expertise, I’m hoping Becky’s story will be something worth reading when it’s complete.

    As I read over what I’ve written so far, I noticed a lot of technical mistakes. Ah well – as long as those mistakes don’t show up in the final draft, I should be good. That’s why an editor is so important. Self-publishing doesn’t mean we have to go it alone.

    Becky’s story represents my first time writing outside of poetry, blogging, and flash fiction. I’ve discovered that a full-fledged story requires a whole different set of writing muscles. And with practice, I’m hoping to strengthen those muscles. As the saying goes, anything worth doing is worth doing well. A saying that I’ve always believed in.

    I have to go now and check on the turkey. But before I do, I’d like to wish my Canadian friends and readers a very happy Thanksgiving. And to my other friends and readers, I’d like to wish you a very happy Sunday.

    Until next time, be kind to yourself. You’re worth it!

  • The Target

    Too early to set up yet, Ronny lit a cigarette. The target wasn’t due for another forty minutes. Ronny preferred it that way. He liked to relax before each job. It was a time to collect his thoughts and prepare. At twenty-eight, Ronny was still new to the business – just a week shy of his first year anniversary.

    Before starting his career as a shooter, Ronny worked at a gas station. The mediocre pay meant he had to share a crummy apartment with two other men. Although he rarely saw them, as they worked equally long hours. Then Ronny decided to put his shooting skills to good use.

    Taught to shoot by his father, Ronny joined an outdoor shooting range and saved enough money to buy a used Savage 10FP. He practiced for a full year. At last, on May 12th of 1986,  Ronny placed an ad in the paper.

    Professional Shooter

    Wednesdays at 6 p.m. Studio 201

    The Green Lantern

    For two months, Ronny wore his Green Lantern tee-shirt to the gallery every Wednesday from 5 to 7 p.m. And just as he began to think he’d never be given a chance, Ronny was contacted for his first job.

    Nervous and wanting desperately to succeed, Ronny arrived at his first job two hours early. Scoping out the area weeks beforehand, he already had the perfect spot picked out, or so he hoped. During those two hours, Ronny set up his rifle, ate his meal, and smoked a half pack of Players.

    The extra time also allowed him to focus solely on the job, and the target. Thus, when his target showed up – on time as always – Ronny was ready. A single shot to the chest and it was over. Ronny breathed a sigh of relief, packed up, and went home.

    He hoped the success of that first job would lead to more jobs. And it did. Ronny was able to take the ad out of the paper, providing him with more relief. He was a private man, and the ad had left him feeling exposed. Unfortunately, he knew of no other way.

    Almost a year later, Ronny was earning enough money to buy a brand new rifle and anything else he might like. But his 10FP had never missed a target yet, so not wanting to break his winning streak, he kept it. And the new apartment suited his needs for now. He preferred a simple apartment that afforded him privacy to expensive things.

    Butting out his third cigarette and dropping it into the container he always brought with him, Ronny set up his rifle. The target would be there in less than ten minutes. Everything was as it should be. The street below remained quiet, with only a few pedestrians enjoying the evening sun. They wouldn’t be interested in him when the shot found its mark.

    A 1985 black Buick rounding the corner announced the arrival of his next target. Ronny slowed his breathing. He had learned to ignore his racing pulse. It would slow down after the job. Counting back from one hundred, he watched as the Buick drove up to the restaurant and parked. He’d have seconds to make the shot.

    The target ate at the same restaurant every Thursday. Ronny figured that he met up with someone inside. Although he did’t care who the target was or wasn’t meeting. It was none of his concern.

    With a clear view of the Buick’s interior, Ronny noticed a blond woman sitting on the passenger side. The target’s wife, maybe? During the weeks leading up to the job, the target had always arrived alone, parking his car in the same area. A man of habit. Ronny liked that. It made his job easier.

    Targets’ names and personal details were unknown to Ronnie.  Those things didn’t matter. So when meeting with clients, Ronny requested as little detail about a target as possible. Each target was identified by photo only. It wasn’t personal. It was business.

    This meant that Ronny had never laid eyes on the blond woman before. She certainly was a beautiful woman. Ronny wished he could spare her the scene about to unfold. He had great respect for women, which is why he didn’t date, visiting Star twice a week instead. He paid her handsomely in return.

    The best Ronny could do was spare the woman any blood on herself. As the target approached the passenger door, Ronny pulled the trigger. The woman inside the car screamed, but it was to be expected.

    Ronny didn’t wait to see what happened next. He was already disassembling his rifle, returning it to its backpack, and confirming nothing would be left behind.

    His car was parked a block away. A 1978 Chevy Monza that cost more in upgrades than it cost to buy. A small price to pay for being invisible.

    Ronny took his time walking back to the car. No one even glanced at the young man in faded Levis, Bon Jovi tee-shirt, green baseball hat, and backpack. He was a dime a dozen in a city filled with college students. And Ronny could easily pass for twenty-one.

    Back at his car, Ronny shoved his backpack in the trunk, locked it, and went to order a burger and fries. He disliked cooking, which he considered a waste of time. He ordered to go, needing to get home and change before visiting Star.

    The thought of Star’s unique talents was enough to make Ronny smile as he drove home. Turning up the radio, he relaxed, ate his meal, and enjoyed the hour drive to his apartment.

    Once home, it didn’t take Ronnie long to shower and change into a pair of navy blue dress pants and light grey shirt. He liked to be presentable for Star, who once asked why he didn’t get rid of his old, beat up car. Ronny told her it reminded him of where he came from. Star didn’t ask any other questions. Even though Ronny was a regular, she knew not to stick her nose where it didn’t belong.

    The sun had long conceded when Ronny arrived at Star’s apartment, who was waiting for him as usual. She liked Ronny and enjoyed his company. He was a generous man who treated her with respect. And unlike Star’s other clients, Ronny often stayed to hold her in his arms and talk for a few hours.

    Tonight, Star asked Ronny if he’d heard about the man who’d been shot. Star’s girlfriend had called earlier to tell her about the shooting outside a restaurant.

    “He was seeing a couple of the girls for about ten months, growing increasingly rough with them. Then three months ago, he beat Zoe so bad, that she ended up in the hospital with three broken ribs and a broken jaw. The girls haven’t seen him since. He only started seeing the girls after his wife threatened to kill him if he ever hit her again. If I could thank who shot the bastard, I would.”

     

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~

     

    Blog News

    If you haven’t taken advantage of my ebook promotion for Finding Their Way Home yet, it’s not too late! The sale ends tomorrow, so don’t miss out on this great offer! Available now for just $0.99!

    Amazon.com

    Amazon.co.uk

    I’d also like to share the link to a book tour that’s starting in November and running until December. It’s an amazing opportunity for indie authors to connect with readers and grow their readership. The tour will be taking place in the United States, so I’m unable to sign up. But I wanted to share for the indie authors who live close enough to participate. If you’d like to find out more, just click on the link below!

    Written Escape Bookfest

    Well, that’s it for this week. Until next time, be kind to yourself. You’re worth it!

     

     

     

  • Ebook on Sale Now!

    Today is the day everyone! The ebook edition of Finding Their Way Home is on sale this Saturday and Sunday only! That means you can purchase my book for the low price of $0.99 USD!

     

     

    So don’t miss out! Get your copy today! Here’s what one reviewer had to say about my book.

    This is one of the few books (poetry or otherwise) in which I have left bookmarks on my e-reader to look at every now and then.

    The poems are heartfelt, sometimes gritty, and they hit home with me every single one of them. Baker is an artist with words. Jantine Kampes

    Below are the links where you can take advantage of this great offer! And until next time, be kind to yourself. You’re worth it!

    Amazon.com

    Amazon.co.uk

     

    P.S. I’ve had this post ready since yesterday, but I couldn’t see the countdown showing up on Amazon.com. So I’ve spent a good part of my day trying to resolve the issue. Then Felicia over at Nesie’s Place reassured me that it’s showing up after all. Well, you can imagine my sense of relief! I couldn’t wait to get home and share my post.

  • Ebook Going on Sale Tomorrow!

    Tomorrow is the big day and I’m so excited! The ebook edition of Finding Their Way Home is going on sale!

    For this Saturday and Sunday only, you can purchase my ebook for the low price of $0.99. If you haven’t had a chance to buy my book yet, then now is the time!

     

     

    Here’s what one reviewer had to say about my book.

    This is an absolutely wonderful book of poetry. The author really shares from her heart. Some of these poems are heart-wrenching and I felt a pull toward the author as she shared such heartfelt poems. These will grab and tug at your heart strings. I thoroughly enjoyed this book and look forward to more from this author. Excellent book and it gets 5***** from me. ~Shannan Williams

     

    If you’d like to know what others have said, you can check out this link to my book.

    My Debut Poetry Book

    I’ll be sharing the links to my book on Amazon tomorrow. Until then, be kind to yourself. You’re worth it!

     

  • My Ebook’s Going on Sale This Weekend!

    The ebook edition of Finding Their Way Home is going on sale this weekend! For this Saturday and Sunday only, you can purchase my ebook for the low price of $0.99 through amazon.com and amazon.co.ku!

    That’s a savings of 75% on amazon.com and 65% on amazon.co.ku. So don’t miss out! Blame it on the excitement, but I couldn’t wait to share the great news with everyone!

    I know how busy we all are, so I’ll share a quick reminder on Friday. Then on Saturday, I’ll be celebrating by sharing a post with the links to my ebook for both market places. Did I mention that I don’t want you to miss out?

    In the meantime, here’s the link to my book page, where you can read what others have said about Finding Their Way Home.

    My Debut Poetry Book

     

     

     

    Well, that’s it for now! Until next time, be kind to yourself.

  • A Symbol of Hope

    Introduction

    I started this flash fiction story yesterday while a pot of soup simmered on the stove. I didn’t get a chance to finish it until this morning.

    When writing a flash fiction story, I try to keep it as lean as possible, keeping it around the 1000 word count. I hope you enjoy reading.

    A Symbol of Hope

    Anna permitted herself one final glance in the mirror before heading downstairs. Jimmy was due home any minute and she was looking forward to an evening out. As a surprise, Anna had booked a table at their favorite restaurant.

    After all, a ten year wedding anniversary was worth celebrating. She couldn’t wait to see the look on Jimmy’s face when she told him about their reservations. He was always surprising her, and now it was her turn.

    As Anna neared the kitchen, she heard the familiar sound of her husband’s Malibu. Jimmy was never late. He prided himself on being punctual. After leaving her job as an architect, time became a more abstract concept for Anna. She had a new dream that had no time frame.

    “Hey, Hon! Traffic was backed up because of an accident.” Jimmy sung out while placing his briefcase in its usual spot. He placed the roses next to Anna’s favorite vase before joining his wife in the kitchen.

    “Wow! You look great! Is that a new dress? It looks hot on you!”

    Anna smiled before her husband’s admiring gaze. She was thrilled that he had noticed the dress, making it worth the extravagant price tag.

    “Thanks, Hon. I thought you might like it. I wanted something different for this evening.”

    “This evening? Did I forget something again?” Jimmy had a habit of forgetting anything not written down, and he loved teasing his beautiful wife, who spent most of her time covered in paint since leaving her job. Anna often shared her latest painting with him. Jimmy was always amazed by her talent. The owner at the local art gallery had promptly offered to showcase Anna’s work during her visit. Jimmy couldn’t be more proud of the woman he married ten short years ago.

    “I just remembered!” Jimmy ran out the kitchen, retrieved the roses, and ran back to where Anna still stood.

    “These are for you. Happy anniversary, hon.” Jimmy passed the small token of his love to the woman he called his wife. He knew not to buy an expensive gift. Anna preferred simple gifts with meaning. And flowers were her favorite. After her mother died, they were also a reminder of her mother.

    The loss had been hard on Anna. By the time they found the lung cancer, it was too late. A few months later, Anna left her job and picked up the family tradition of chicken casserole on Fridays, not once deviating from her mother’s recipe. Anna loved having her father over for dinner on those days. After the first invitation, the three of them understood that Friday’s tradition would now be carried on by Anna.

    “Earth to Jimmy.” Anna kissed her husband back to reality. “The roses are beautiful, hon. I have a surprise for you too.”

    While Anna tended to the roses, taking the time to admire their fragrance as usual, she told Jimmy about their reservations at Kasey’s. It was the restaurant where they ate on their first date, but hadn’t been to in years.

    “I wanted to surprise you, so I booked a table three months ago. The restaurant is always full, so I didn’t want to take any chances. I wanted this anniversary to be special. I can’t believe we’ve been married ten years already. You’ve always stood by me, Jimmy. When Mom passed away, you held me up when I couldn’t.”

    The roses taken care of, Anna walked over to her husband and wrapped her arms around his waist. Even after a day at work, she could still detect a faint whiff of his cologne. Taking a deep breath, Anna picked up where she left off. “Our reservations are at 7, which gives us plenty of time.”

    “The perfect change in plans, hon. You’ve always wanted to cook for our anniversary, so I never suggested going out. Maybe this could be the start of another tradition, and save you all that time in the kitchen. Plus it’ll give me a chance to enjoy how good you look in that dress, before helping you out of it.” Jimmy’s grin was filled with mischief.

    Even after ten years, Jimmy still made her feel sexy. It didn’t matter what she was wearing. Anna continued to be grateful for his love and support. When she had announced that she was leaving her job to paint full-time, he didn’t ask a single question.

    Instead, he converted the guest room into a studio. The other bedroom would be a nursery some day. After their wedding, they decided to wait until they were financially secure. Anna was hoping to bring up the subject at dinner this evening. She was ready to start a family.

    Anna could think of no better answer to Jimmy’s words than a slow, tender kiss. The kiss reminded her of their wedding day. She loved him then, and she loved him even more today, if that was possible.

    “If we leave now, we’d have time for a drink before dinner.” Jimmy wondered how this beautiful woman had ever come to be his. He was a lucky man.

    “I’ll get my purse. Tonight is my treat.” Anna hugged her husband a little harder before getting her purse from the bedroom.

    “I’m ready, hon.” Anna stood in the kitchen doorway, waiting for her husband. She reached out her hand.

    “The roses are beautiful, Jim.” Sarah admired this man’s dedication. For the past year, he always made sure his wife had fresh pink roses next to her bed. Although today the roses were red.

    “Thank you, Sarah. Today is our anniversary. Anna loves roses, so they’re an anniversary tradition. I know she can’t see them, but maybe she can smell them.”

    “I’m sure she can, Jim. Anna’s room always smells so lovely. The hospital could use more of them.”

    “Anna said flowers allowed her to feel close to her mother after she died. Mabel loved her flower garden – being especially proud of her pink roses. Anna never had much of a green thumb, so I’ve been surprising her with pink roses since her mother’s passing. But on our anniversary, I still like to give Anna red roses – a small symbol of my love. It’s been a year since the accident, but I know Anna’s going to wake up. Until then, the roses give me hope.”

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Well, that’s it for this week. Until next time, be kind to yourself.

  • Silent Passengers – A Conversation with Becky

    Introduction

    Becky is a fictional character in the short story that I’m working on. I probably should’ve had this story completed by now, but I don’t. Ah well. It’ll be done when it’s done.

    You might still consider the whole conversation to be complete nonsense. But I’m hoping that you enjoy it, of course. Speaking to our characters and getting to know them is all part of the writing process, so I know I’m not alone in this – giving me that little extra dose of courage to share with you.

    And without further delay, here is our conversation, as best I remember it.

    Becky: A bump on the head. Seriously? You couldn’t come up with a more dignified way for me to die?

    Me: I could’ve, but the bump on the head felt right to me. I wanted your death to be a freak accident. You have to agree it worked.

    Becky: That’s easy for you to say. I’m the one who died needlessly. Why couldn’t you just give me a story in which I lived. There are lots of other journeys that I could’ve taken before this final one. I mean, where can you take my story from here?

    Me: I probably should’ve given you more time at the beginning. I really am sorry you had so little time before the accident, Becky. In my defense, this is only a rough draft that I’m sharing on my blog. And your story started out as a flash fiction writing piece, remember. I wanted to throw the reader into the plot as soon as possible. Then I realized about halfway through that I couldn’t finish it by the end of one post. I promise to give you more time if/when I put the story together. Right now, I’m still getting to know you. And like I said, it was suppose to be a single post, so I wasn’t thinking past that one post when I sat down to write.

    Becky: And what’s up with the drinking problem? Why did you make me an alcoholic? There are other ways of dealing with your problems, you know.

    Me: I know. I know. But I wanted you be imperfect and real. In the real world, people drink, and some people drink too much. I wanted to highlight that alcoholism is a serious disease that can affect anyone. It’s not a personality defect. Alcoholism doesn’t make you less than the next person, or the next character in your case. No one’s perfect and everyone is fighting their own battle.  The drinking problem just means you’re human like the rest of us. And the feedback tells me that readers haven’t judged you for it. I’ll admit to having been a little worried about that. But as it turns out, readers are pretty awesome  – and smart.

    Becky: When are you gonna tell readers about the other thing?

    Me: Soon enough. I don’t want to rush your story. Besides, your story isn’t about that. Although I know it’s caused you a lot of pain. It’s one of the reasons I placed Amy inside your heart, so to speak. She’s there to give you strength and keep you company on your journey, even when I’m not writing.

    Becky: You’ve definitely been taking your time. But there are moments when I get the impression that you don’t really know what you’re doing with my story. Should I be worried, Brenda?

    Me: That’s because I really don’t know what I’m doing, Becky. This is my first attempt at writing something longer than a flash fiction story. As you know, I’ve mostly written poetry. But I won’t give up on your story. I’ll probably make mistakes along the way as usual, so you’ll need to bear with me. And I don’t know how long it’ll take me to finish your story, or where your story will end. I guess we’ll find that out together.

    Becky: Wouldn’t the ending be obvious, given my situation?

    Me: Maybe. But I’ve learned to never jump to conclusions. I like to leave some wiggle room for the unexpected. Things have a way of not working out as planned. You know that as well as I do, Becky.

    Becky: Yes I do. Speaking of which, I was surprised when you made me a journalist. You know nothing about journalism, which means I know nothing about journalism. Not that it matters much where I’m at.

    Me: To be honest, I’m not sure, Becky. I wanted you to have a career that I admire – meaning I could’ve chosen any number of careers, I guess. I actually thought about making you a teacher before I sat down to write. At least I have some idea about that. But I wanted to step outside my comfort zone. If need be, I could do some research. Then I’d feel like a real writer, maybe. Or I could still make you a teacher. Who knows? Teachers own cats too.

    Becky: I don’t want to be a backseat driver, but the story does seem a little slow up to now. A bit more action might help to liven things up for the reader – no pun intended, of course.

    Me: I would love to throw in more action, but I’m not sure it’s that kind of story, Becky. Although I’ll keep it in mind. I’m still figuring things out. As always, only time will tell. Speaking of time, I’ll have to get cracking soon. Your story won’t write itself. By the way, I might share our conversation on my blog at some point. If I do, would you mind if someone asks you a question?

    Becky: I haven’t spoken to anyone besides you and Amy in what seems like forever. It might do me good. I’m not sure if readers have noticed, but I spend a lot of time inside my head – you might want keep that in check. It’s not that interesting in there. You don’t think readers will find it strange?

    Me: What’s that?

    Becky: Well, I’m not actually real. I’m a fictional character in an unfinished story. And you’re offering readers the opportunity to ask me questions.

    Me: Uhm. I hadn’t thought of that, Becky. Maybe I should just leave the last part out. Although I try to be honest with readers. So maybe I’ll leave it, and let them draw their own conclusions.

    Well, that’s it for now. Until next time, be kind to yourself. You’re worth it.✨

    A woman holding a feather pen while writing at her desk.

  • We Can’t Enjoy the Sunshine Without the Rain

    Before the Rain

    I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted, so I decided to come clean and share why I’ve been absent – aside from my road trip. It was a nice trip by the way. We were gone for a week, making it one of our shorter trips. We usually go for about a month. This year’s trip was short and sweet. We did a little sight seeing. I squeezed in some shopping. And presto, we were home again. So it doesn’t account for my monthlong absence from blogging.

    Now, as some of you may remember, last fall an abnormality showed up during my routine mammogram. I then had a follow-up mammogram and ultrasound. The results being inconclusive, they recommended I have another mammogram screening in February. Through the jigs and reels, I didn’t have the recommended mammogram.

    I wasn’t too worried though. My doctor and I couldn’t feel anything. So why worry unnecessarily, right? Then in late June or early July, my hand froze. I felt a lump – a very tiny lump, but a lump nonetheless. At the time, my doctor was due a leave of absence, giving me the perfect excuse to ignore my discovery. And I was busy with other stuff as well – like summer cleaning, getting ready for that road trip, etc.

    My doctor was back by mid-August, and after three days of wondering whether I ought to set up an appointment, I found the courage to call. In making that call, I finally had to acknowledge the previously ignored discovery. I was also forced to confront my concerns. On the one hand, I told myself that there was no way breast cancer could happen to me. On the other hand, I knew full well that women are diagnosed with breast cancer every day.

    August Rains

    This compelled me to devour all the information I could about breast cancer. You name it, I’ve probably googled it. I was trying to determine whether I had a legitimate reason to be concerned, and whether or not such an unassuming lump could be cancerous. Of course, there’s absolutely no way of determining that through online research – the prognosis best left to professionals who actually know what they’re doing. But I couldn’t stop myself. I was a woman on a mission.

    During this time, I got lost inside my head. I disappeared from social media and my blog, questioning my priorities and spending as much time as possible with my husband. I evaluated my life – again. In so doing, I wondered if the time spent writing is really worth it or not. So I stayed as far away from writing as possible. I tackled everything else but writing. As a result, all the little things that I’ve been putting off are now done. I’ve always been able to find a silver lining.

    But at some point, I realized that I couldn’t stay inside my head forever. Nor could I continue to obsess over something that will most likely never come to be. Did I mention that it’s the teeniest of lumps? I’m beginning to hate that word. However, should it come to be, I can now deal with it in an informed manner, thanks to all that research – another silver lining.

    Sunshine After the Rain

    For now, I’ll continue spending time with my husband and getting back to the other things I love – like writing, of course. You see, during the time inside my head, I came to accept that it doesn’t matter how many or how few read my words – for real this time. All that matters is my love of the craft. If it makes me happy (and it does), then it’s worth doing – enough said.

    I should also mention that I have an ultrasound appointment for Thursday, September 6. I’ll be sure to keep you posted on how it turns out. Tempted to gloss over and downplay my experience these past couple of weeks, I decided to take a more honest approach. While still lost inside my head, I also concluded that the opinion of others means diddly squat. What matters is my opinion of me – better late than never, I suppose. And I’m fine with who I am – weird bits included.

    I do suspect there’s an unspoken pressure on us to always appear as though we have everything together. But none of us have it all together all the time. And that’s OK, don’t you think? It’s an important part of what makes us human. And what more can we ask of ourselves, but to accept our own humanity?

    So what’s my takeaway from this?

    First of all, never take chances with your health. Since my initial mammogram scare, I’m much more diligent when it comes my health. Because our health isn’t a game of chance.

    Secondly, mammograms are an important screening tool for the detection of breast cancer. I’m not convinced that I would’ve found anything without my mammogram screening. Although the results were inconclusive, I was on greater alert, which allowed me to detect a lump early on. A woman should never ignore a lump in her breast, no matter how tiny. This goes back to never taking a chance with our health.

    Lastly, arm yourself with yourself with knowledge. Know the facts about breast cancer. Through my research, I learned that women with dense breast tissue have a greater chance of developing breast cancer. So ladies, know if you have dense breast tissue. It can affect mammogram results. If you would like to learn more, just click on this link.

    A last note before I forget.

    In my next post, I’ll be sharing a conversation with Becky that I enjoyed during my absence from writing. It’s been a while, so in case you’ve forgotten, she’s the main character in a short story I’ve been working on. I guess it just goes to show that you can take a writer away from writing, but you can’t take the writing away from a writer.

    One final thought before I let you go. If you haven’t checked out the page dedicated to my book yet, I hope you’ll take a minute to click on the link below. On my book page, you’ll find book reviews, links to my book, and a book trailer made by me. It’s a simple trailer, but people seem to like it. The book itself isn’t bad either if I’m to trust the reviews.

    I don’t often promote my book on a blog post, but I figure once every blue moon is reasonable.

    My Debut Poetry Book

    Well, that’s it for now. Until next time, be kind to yourself.

     

    Enjoy the moments that make life beautiful.

  • My Happiness Manifesto – The Key to My Success

    Another school year has ended and now comes the much awaited summer vacation by teachers and students alike. I had the honor of spending my last day of school with a beautiful group of grade 12 students, who will be moving on next year to find their own path to success.

    As we know, the path to success is different for everyone, as is the meaning of success . For some it might mean the accumulation of wealth and material possessions, or it might mean working at that job we love – which may or may not pay well. It might mean raising our children, so they achieve whatever it is that we hope for them.

    In any case, what we consider to be the mark of success tends to involve a combination of factors dependent on what we want in life, where we are in life, and what we value. And our idea of success will help determine the path we choose to get there.

    So this got me to thinking about what success means to me at the tail end of my forties, and whether I’m on the right path. I make a point of checking in on myself every now and then to see how I’m doing.

    The first thing that came to mind when I considered the idea of success, was the concept of happiness. First and foremost, for me, success now means that I’m happy – especially with myself. And as I take a quick look back, I realize that I was searching for happiness all along. It was during my search for happiness that I found success.

    It would seem that Albert Schweitzer had it right when he said “Happiness is the key to success.” A smart man.

    [easy-tweet tweet=”Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful. ~Albert Schweitzer ” user=”CyberneticBlond” hashtags=”#happiness #success #inspiring”]

    I did make the practical decision to become a teacher, thereby gaining financial security. But I could’ve chosen any number of careers based on my strengths and interests. I chose teaching because I wanted to make a difference and have a positive impact on teenagers. My decision has made me very happy over the years.

    And for me to be happy with myself, I need to stay true to who I am. I can’t and won’t compromise my values and morals for the sake of some perceived greater purpose. There is no greater purpose than my integrity.

    So what else makes me happy? Easy – respect as a mother, wife, teacher, colleague,  author, etc. How do I achieve that respect? By earning it through my words and actions, and showing the same respect to others. We can’t expect others to respect us if we don’t return the favor. It’s a two-way street.

    Next, learning and growing brings me happiness. But just how am I to keep learning and growing as a person? By embracing each challenge with open arms and seeking new growth opportunities whenever possible – like creating this blog and self-publishing. It means stepping outside my comfort zone – which I don’t do enough, and furthering my understanding of what I already know.

    And you’ll notice the changes on my blog. Nothing dramatic, just enough to fulfill the need to learn a little something new, while spicing things up a little. However, the difference those small changes made to my mindset were well worth the effort. I’ve been wanting to create a landing page for a while now, and although it’s a very simple page, I’m happy with it. During another need for change, maybe I’ll gussy it up a little  – and again, learn something new.

    Happiness for me also means cultivating positive relationships with family and friends. I do this by taking time to connect with my husband, daughters, sisters, mother, friends, etc., when I can. It might not always be much, a quick text to ask how someone is doing, for example. My daughters know I’m there for them at the drop of a hat if need be. My husband and I clear our schedules every evening to spend time together.

    Last but not least, as I’m fond of saying, true happiness means loving myself enough to spend time with me as well. Spending time with myself doesn’t need to be complicated. It can be as simple as my evening bath, a walk while listening to my favorite playlist, or reading the next novel calling my name. The point being is that I take the time to care for myself. This in turn, gives me more energy for other aspects of my life. A win-win in my book.

    Remember that success equals happiness for me. It also equals enough money to pay the bills, save for tomorrow, and take the scatter holiday. By my standard, I’ve achieved much of the success I want.

    Most of what I’ve mentioned so far has come up on one blog post or another, which goes to show how important these topics are to me.

    As a teenager, I learned about Maslow’s hierarchy of needs in biology class. It struck a cord with me. At the top of the pyramid is the need for self-actualization – the achievement of our full potential. Somewhere within my sub-conscious, I’ve always wanted to reach the top of that pyramid, and I’ll keep climbing until I get there. And when I do get there, I’m sure to find another road.  My journey is far from over.

    During my climb to the top of Maslow’s pyramid, I’ll continue to establish myself as an author by sticking to my value of hard work and desire to keep learning.

    I should probably step out of my comfort zone more often as well, if I’m to know greater success as an author.

    I didn’t realize that I wasn’t stepping outside my comfort zone nearly enough until writing this post. The next question is why. But that would be the subject for another time.

    To conclude, because writing this post was a bit of an eye opener for me, I’d like to suggest that you write your own success/happiness manifesto. You never know what you might discover about yourself…

    Well that’s it for this week. Until next time, be kind to yourself. And don’t be shy, I love hearing from you.